I wanted a glimpse of the life I could have — someone who looked like me and could understand my struggle. It was what gay society told me was the pinnacle of male beauty. For a long time, I thought that coming out would open doors to a place where I could be open about my identity without judgement. As gay men, we all go through an emotional journey to discover a sense of self; to allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to come out and let our lives fall into place. And while I found acceptance in innumerable ways through friends, coming out also meant entering a world brimming with a distinct, ubiquitous form of discrimination — where racism runs rampant and everyone is boxed into manufactured stereotypes. I learned quickly that some of the most blatant racism in the gay community is pointed at Asian men.