It might be awkward at first, but opening up about your needs and desires can transform your relationship. S ex is a life-affirming act, one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. But talking about it? So much harder.

Hint: Emailing your spouse a spreadsheet detailing your disappointment isn't it. It seems one man was so upset that he and his wife weren't having enough sex that he began tracking his attempts and the outcome. And we're not talking about a mental list here. The man documented his wife's reasons for turning him down in an Excel spreadsheet over a seven-week period. The list of what he deemed her "excuses" included "I'm exhausted" and "I might be getting sick" and "I'm watching my show.

A healthy marriage needs two people who are committed to good communication. And good communication requires good listening skills and healthy, assertive discussions. But when it comes to talking about sex with your spouse, the personal, private and vulnerable nature of the topic can, if not handled well, cause a conversation to feel more like a stress test than a good discussion.

These common emotions and others can keep married couples from talking about sex. The experts agree. It may be uncomfortable or awkward. You may have baggage most of us do. When do you think would be good?